Dear Lady. Ann:
Greetings! My testimony is quite long, but I will try to keep it short. I am 27 years old, never been married and have no child.
I joined this group back in March. I remember asking the Lord for guidance on how to better pray for my future marriage back in February, few weeks later this group popped up on my newsfeed. And here I am. Well, I was sexually abused throughout my childhood and early teen years by 5 different men from my family. It all started when I was just 4 years old.
I grew up hating myself! Depression, anxiety, suicide thoughts, insomnia, panic attacks… it was all my daily portion. Just to give you an idea, by this time last year all I wanted the most was to die!
I have had three relationships, which they all ended almost the same way. They all cheated on me and married someone else. It was when I ended my second relationship that I knew then that something was not right.
I thought it was all solved by the time I met my third boyfriend. Nonetheless, the story repeated itself (as explained).
I was forced to leave my job last year, all because I was still in love with my then ex. And to make things worse, he wanted me back. He was even contemplating divorcing his wife. I tried everything I could to keep myself away from him, but no success. We needed to work together every single day! In the end, I did not see another way out.
I became so frustrated! It was as if the Lord was not hearing my prayers!
Moreover, throughout it all I got sick many times, and lost so much weight! I had to put up with people always commenting on my physical appearance. It was very heartbreaking!
Fast forward to June, though I was still jobless and depending on my parents, I started to finally FEEL better! I couldn’t believe that that heavy burden was finally lifted off my shoulders! I really have no words! My testimony is really long, and for that reason is really hard for me to choose what to mention in here. Nonetheless, there is this particular event that I believe I need to mention.
At some point this year, I started feeling like I was wearing an invisible wedding ring. The Lord had then told me that I had already been delivered; nonetheless, I could not understand why that ring was still there! Then on September 30th, I felt that I needed to fast for the prayer session we had that day (Dealing with the Spirit of Delay in Marriage), even though it was not required. Few days later, I noticed that the ring had disappeared!
Praise the Lord!
Well, I got a new job back in September!
I am still single, and still living with parents. Nonetheless, I have got JOY!
HE HAS GIVEN ME LIFE!
I have come to realize that praying for marriage, has to do more with praying about myself than the other person!
Glory be to God! I know He is not done with me yet!
Thank you for your obedience Lady. Ann!
Sincerely,
JB