Dear Lady. Ann:
My fiancé, well former fiancé has decided to part ways. I am 28 and he is 30. We have been dating about a year and a half. No infidelity but a lot of bickering and arguing. He is incarcerated in Ohio. I am from CT. I met him through a former coworker and he has been in prison for 10 years. His level was dropped from level 4 to 3 and we thought this would be a great change but it appears the disconnect really started. He used to have his own cell now he shares it with an individual and the things we did to keep us close like watch movies, pray, write etc. (yes we did a lot of building in the past) stopped happening, then he went to the hole for 90 days. Though we managed to keep close during the time, he got out the hole and the arguing persisted.
We have said foul things to each other in heated arguments and recently he vented to some family and now I know they look at me differently. Though he has not shared the things he has said. Not to mention, I’ve visited him 3 times in this year and a half and it would have been more had the pandemic not prohibited the 11 hour drive I planned to take regularly. Prison relationships have a huge stigma and I even used to have judgmental views until it became my life. Through the depression he had, hole time and all the obstacles that I don’t have time to get into, I was solid. I gave my all. I am extremely confused. I’m left with no choice but to move on because I feel he has vented too hard and tried to make me look bad despite the loyalty and the effort I put in to love this man. I’ve been there mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. In ways no one else has and I feel he has taken me for granted but as foolish as it may sound, I still care and don’t know if this was a seasonal thing or will we reconcile. Any advice? Prayers appreciated