Dear Lady. Ann:
I’m writing today to receive prayer and some words of encouragement. My boyfriend and I are coming up on our 2 year anniversary in November. From the beginning he made his intentions for me very well known. (He wanted to build a life with me, get married, have children…everything I want). The first year was a little rocky as he was living 4 hours away from me, but he made sure he came to see me every weekend for the entire first year. He had lots of car troubles that first year and I spent lots of time waiting for him to get here or I’d have to go meet him somewhere to help him fix his car. I promised God that I was going to be patient because in the past I have rushed things in relationships and things always ended sooner rather than later.
He then moved in with me in my house with my 2 children. Things were starting to look up as we were able to spend more time together and my children were able to create a bond with him. Then his father had a relapse with drugs and he brought him here to stay with us. Get him clean and to help him as he was asking my bf for help. A lifestyle he grew up around whereas I grew up with Christian parents and attended church weekly. So having his father here was hard on me as I work from home and during this pandemic both my children were home with me as well. His father, he believes has memory issues due to the drug use, but also may have the beginning stages on Alzheimer/dementia.
So he would leave stuff out around the house and not put things away. I allowed it to bother me so much I almost had a nervous breakdown. I told my bf I couldn’t do it anymore because it was causing me so much stress and anxiety having him around as I was trying to work. So he rented a condo down the street for both of them. At the time I didn’t realize that this caused him to question whether or not he wanted to marry me and I felt more and more distance between us as time went on. And I started feeling and worrying that he was going to leave me which was devastating because I want nothing more than to spend our lives together and get married. Then the other night I had a gut feeling to check his messages where I found him talking to another woman about how he could make her happy.
I questioned him about it and he denied it at first until I showed him proof that I was reading his messages. He then opened up about how my not wanting his father here put a wall between us because he wants to help people and since his father has no one else, he can’t just let him go to a shelter. I felt terrible that I made him feel like I was willing to just abandon his father when he needed help. It was not my intention. I was just so overwhelmed with it all. He apologized for talking with another woman and reassured it was nothing and it would not happen again. (I struggle with this because both my children’s fathers cheated and left me for other women). We prayed together asking God to help us work through this together as a couple and to help us continue to put God first in all things. In my past when things went bad, I always ended things with men and walked away with no hesitation, but I can’t just do that this time. I love him more than anyone else I’ve loved before and want to do everything I can to make things work and not give up so easily as I have in the past. How do I move past this and continue on building a life with this man?