Dear Lady. Ann:
I’m 29 yrs old and I was wondering would there ever be a time that I tell my story and testify about how God brought me through. I was living recklessly and at 23, I met a woman I fell head over hills but just a yr after that I started using drugs, hard drugs. I started going to jail, ended up in prison but she left me. I was hateful, I didn’t understand why Jesus would allow me to love this woman and her 5 kids but yet she just walked out. I didn’t listen to God though because after 26 months I came home to the same thing, still being hateful, using drugs, abusing the women even in front of her kids. Time went on and nothing changed but I became more angry, more hateful and my drug use picked up.
One day, cops came and took those kids, so we got clean and stayed going to church. Kids came home but I still wasn’t living right so everything started falling apart again. Cops removed those kids again. Now one of those kids I raised from 4 months to 8 yrs old but I wasn’t living right, I wasn’t being a mom. Drugs had me living life, serving the devil, so I ran. I ran to Atlanta with their mother, hoping to run from my problems. I was living life clean, ready to get the kids back but once again not serving Jesus, not giving him His thanks and glory.
So June 12 this year I was in the backseat of a car and there was an accident. I lived but I had two major surgeries and thought I would never walk again. While I sat in Kennstone hospital 7 days, said woman left again. This time because her mother died but she never came to check on me and I started becoming that hateful woman again. Started back using drugs saying I don’t believe in Jesus. Why would He let her hurt me, why wouldn’t He protect my heart. But now I’m laying here, over 160 staples in my hip, 3 days out the hospital from trying to kill myself again and I see. God was showing me the whole time that the devil comes to kill, steal and destroy. He was showing me that she was an idol and I was praising her and not Him. He showed me that He is God and if I choose to put just a little faith in Him, He can carry me better than any human.
I used to cry God, why won’t she love me and He showed me because He loves me more. Now I’m getting clean, learning to walk, reading my bible, attending church and praying again. Just know that through that storm God has a bigger plan. We seem to get caught up in this everyday life and forget where our help comes from. I’m heart broken but I’m filled with joy Knowing my father never left me, never forsook me and always have loved me. Now I’m looking for His love, not the love of a woman. Her kids are not even my family. I am searching for that promise He stood on, that He died for. I’m 29 yrs old, my name is Alisha and I’m a recovering addict. I’m recovering from drugs and anxiety depression and loving an idol. Put your trust in Jesus. He never leaves you nor forsakes you. He stands on that promise.