Dear Lady. Ann:
I believe the Lord has led me to you I am hopeful after hearing your testimony. I just want to share my story. I grew up in the church loving and trusting, spent my teen and adult years serving God. I was taught that I must wait upon the Lord for my husband, convicted after my first high-school heartbreak I decided to concentrate on getting my degree and managed to keep my virginity till the age of 29 waiting on my husband. However I completed my studies at 25 and the prayer I had been praying was that after completion of my studies God can bless me with my partner. The years kept going nothing was happening, anger and distrust started to creep in.
I watched family members and friends marry but nothing seemed to be happening on my side. The anger derailed me till I found a man I knew from the beginning I shouldn’t be involved with, I just didn’t know for what reasons but because I had lost my self for that moment, I continued. I fell pregnant only to find out he’s cohabiting with a woman and the situation is so complicated that he will not leave her for me. I broke up with him, he came back and begged that I stay with him, saying we’d figure the situation out, I obliged as I was a few months from delivery, never having imagined I would be in a situation where I would have to be a single parent. Because of his misrepresentations my child was and still is estranged to his family as they have a sense of loyalty to the girl he stays with, that pains my heart.
I never thought I would be in such a situation. Anyway the next year the girl falls pregnant too, he starts telling me about polygamy. Being a church girl, afraid of shame and judgment of admitting just how bad my situation is to others, I continue with him, get pregnant again. Long story short I now have two kids with this man. He says he wants to marry both me and the woman he stays with, but it’s really not what I want, I truly just want my own partner. And I’ve been in this relationship for 4years now, he struggles at giving us equal time, I am the one fighting for his time. Financially he can only afford one household which is the household he shares with this woman. So this situation leaves me lonely most time having to understand him and his situation at home, I’m just tired of all this. The only reason I’ve stayed this long is that he is the father of my kids and in fear that if I move on, with how bad the society is, will I not be putting my girls in danger of abuse. I’ve now started praying again about this whole situation. I need God to show me what to do, I’ve been unhappy ever since I found out the full extent of this relationship. And it just gets worse as the years go by. He is not the Godly man I prayed for in the years of my youth. I believe I was led to your page to hear your testimony, that even in the mess I am in, God still has someone for me who will love me and my kids like his own.