Dear Lady. Ann:
I don’t know how I stumbled onto your group, but I’m very glad that I did. It has been very helpful. I was dating a man for 3 years. He claimed to be a Christian, served at church, and seemed wonderful at first. He was 12 years older than me, which seemed weird at first, but we made it work. He had never been married and had no kids. The first time I met him I thought that God told me that I was going to marry him. I laughed and told God He would have to do it. Then we started dating and 8 months in he proposed. I wasn’t ready, something just felt off, so I told him that. He continued to date me for 2 years after that but started to become cold and withdrawn and really angry. All of the things I was apprehensive about before just escalated.
It got to the point where I was crying myself to sleep several times a week because of some of the things he would say to me. I didn’t realize that these were signs of narcissistic abuse. A few months ago he dumped me and shortly after, started pursuing a girl 18 years younger than him. I was devastated. I’m still broken. I realize that the relationship wasn’t healthy. I realize that it was abusive. I want to be healed and whole but I don’t even know who I am anymore. Worse yet, He still texts and calls me and tells me that he is still open to having a relationship if we can learn to trust each other again. I still love him and when I pray about it I feel like God is going to bring him back to me. I think at this point that scares me more than anything. I just want God’s best for me. I know that if this man is who God wants for me then God is going to have to heal him and bring freedom to him from all of his insecurities. I can’t be with someone who is emotionally abusive. Right now I don’t know what to do or what I want, but I know that I need Jesus to heal my heart and remind me of who I am. If you could please pray for me I would appreciate it. I need direction, healing, and freedom from anxiety.
Anonymous