Dear Lady. Ann:
I once had a friend named Jonathan, me and him spoke almost every day when I stayed in a shelter. He helped me mentally I should say. He stayed many miles away so there was no way we could see each other, he was going through tough times as well. So time passed, lots of time, and we lost contact! We ended up connecting again through Facebook and we kind of caught up where we left off at. One day during our conversation I heard a voice in the background say I know her, that’s my long lost best friend with such excitement. After a lot of noise and us all being overzealous I sorted it out that it’s true this was my best friend from 6th grade, someone who loved me so much that he got kicked out of school for beating up a bully for me. So quickly I was way more interested in catching up with my long lost best friend. That day set off a domino effect of events.
I went from talking to my best friend to longing for him, from longing for him to him moving outta state to my place, from my place to the alter!!! We started communicating in mid December, we were married January 17th!! I knew I wanted marriage and I knew I loved him but I got a crash course of WHAT SOUL TIES TRULY ARE !! Before my then husband, I was in a very mentally toxic on and off sexual relationship with guy before him !! As soon issues started in my marriage, WHICH THEY STARTED THE DAY I SAID I DO, I RAN STRAIGHT TO THAT FAMILIAR PAIN FOR COMFORT. I complained that all my husband do is nag and loves arguing but in reality he was in tuned with me, he knew what was going on, he just didn’t know how to fight it or confront it. I really thought I had my thing on a string, got a husband at home doing ALL THAT GOD REQUIRES A HUSBAND TO DO MEANWHILE I’M DOING WHAT I PLEASE.
I was sooooo extremely foolish because what I ran to comfort me turned out to be the same thing it’s always been, A HEART WRENCHING PURPOSE SNATCHING SOUL TIE !! My husband found out about the affair and left me! Then I had the AUDACITY TO FILE FOR DIVORCE. After months of me making things worse by stirring any pot of drama I can just to make him madder, HE FINALLY SIGNED THOSE DIVORCE PAPERS AS WELL. GOD WHOOPED MY TAIL. GOD BEGAN TO DEAL WITH ME EXTREMELY HEAVY !! EVENTUALLY I STARTED TO NEED MY HUSBAND, LONG FOR HIM, YEARN FOR HIM, WEEP IN THE WEE HOURS OF THE NIGHT FOR HIM, FAST FOR HIM. AND CURRENTLY WE ARE AT A POINT OF BEING ABLE TO COMMUNICATE PEACEFULLY. I HAVE A FRESH LOVE FOR HIM. I KNOW HE LOVES ME STILL EVEN AFTER ALL OF THAT!!! BUT HE IS BACK IN OUR HOME STATE AND I’M IN MY CITY. So our only contact is through the phone. I’m believing God for restoring our marriage! I know this is long but please help me if you can Lady. Ann because no one TEACHES YOU HOW TO HEAL FROM SELF SABOTAGE