Dear Lady. Ann:
I am currently on a 21 Day fast from 1/4-1/25. “The Ultimate Sacrifice” where I am not eating 6-6 and asking God to fine-tune the areas of my life in accordance to His will. The past 2 nights I have had awful dreams, leaving me crying and shaking. During the dreams I find myself conscious but still in the midst of the scary dream. I try to yell for God but it’s like my voice is stuck and it takes all my strength for my voice to finally come all the way through for me to hear it. The phrases I manage to get out loud is “Get out!!!” And “Jesus!!!” I called out for the blood of Jesus!
Here are the dreams:
1/7 – I really struggle with this idea of having a husband and building a life with a mate. I’ve been single my entire life and for so long, I have thought that I’m too complex for a husband to love and understand me completely. I was convinced that I was called to the ministry of singleness and I accepted that. But I found the error in thinking like this and have been adamantly trying to reconstruct. It’s why I joined this group on Facebook. Trying to place myself in spaces regarding marriage, purity, the positives to virginity, etc.
In this dream, I was snuggled up with who I presume was my husband. The dream was set in the future because I seemed to be getting comfort from this man, as I was crying after a hard day at work. (Not surprised by this, I’m in the social work field which can be emotionally taxing). The dream then shifted to the frame of me and this man zooming out with the sound of my own voice saying things like “sike!” “this will never happen to you.” “you’re not good enough for marriage” “you’re too hard to love” etc. I began to feel a heavy heart and physically, tears were on my face. But my mind was still stuck in the dream. My body was heavy and felt weighed down.
Two things happened, with the frame of me and the man in the background. A scary, evil looking face popped up in the front and began to laugh. And a small white glowing figure popped up on the other side. A soft female voice was saying my name several times and said “this is the devil!” But I could hardly hear her voice over the laughing. In the dream I started screaming and finally, I physically woke up screaming, with the physical tears on my face, pleading for God’s protection. When I finally woke my body felt tingly. I believe that was God revealing to me that the negative self thoughts I’ve been saying to myself, all these years were never mine? All an attack of the devil?
1/8 – This night, I was halfway asleep, but not all the way sleep yet. I felt the same heavy, tingling weight on my body. I opened my eyes! And tried to call for the blood of Jesus to cover me and for God’s protection but my voice was stuck! My mouth was shaking to open. Finally I got the word “Jesus” out. I have never ever experienced anything like this before! I’m asking for prayer (PLEASE!) and scripture guidance for where I can go to in the Bible. This is all making me focus on my fast even more! But it’s really scary and I’m trying not to be fearful of falling asleep. Anyone ever experience this “dreams”?