Dear Lady. Ann:
Hi, I would like to remain anonymous. I’ve been in relationships that have not worked out for me, in all of them I have given my all, remained loyal and given the best part of me which is my love however it has always come down to being walked over and betrayed. I dated a man about 2 years ago whom I loved dearly and I believed he loved me as well. We dated for almost 3 years and in the process we had a pregnancy but I miscarried. In the relationship generally we had a lot of hiccups but I was determined to make things work and I truly believed he was my husband. I had never met his family even though they stayed 30 mins away from him. When I discovered I was pregnant, I told him and the lack of joy in his eyes and face was sad to look at. When I miscarried and I told him about it there was a sense of relief from his face and body language and that crushed me beyond words.
It took me a year to heal from it all but in the healing process I tried to distract myself by immediately jumping into another relationship and it didn’t last a minute. Having to experience a miscarriage I told GOD I wanted another child and he blessed me with twins. As happy as I was, the thought of being with another man or committing to another man is freighting and it brings me to tears and scares the life out of me. I don’t know if I ever want to be with a man again. I doubt there is anyone who will love me for me and give me the love I deserve. I have come across some really good men but every time they try to pursue something serious with me, my mind and body shuts down. The idea of them and I being together is non existent. I have been made to feel like I am not good enough and not worthy of true love. Am I destined not love again? Is this the end of the road for me?
Thank you.