Dear Lady. Ann:
Brief background: I’m 23 and I lost my dad when I was 18, I grew up in a strict home but after dad passed away it became even worse. I was more closer to dad; my mum and I’s relationship grew really worse. I moved out for about a year almost 2 years but now I’m back home after God fixed my relationship with my mum. it’s all eased up. I’ve been single for a while too, I’ve never had a real boyfriend in my life. I prayed to God about it, to the point where I became so obsessed about it (I idolized it). But this one time I went to YouTube (I love watching sermons or testimonies) all the content that came up was “work on your self”. Others came from prophetic people saying I’ll have a great man but that I should be careful on getting in ungodly stuff and also check on the friends I hung around with.
I didn’t know what all that meant. But this year I reflected back and realized that what they were telling me was right. I moved out (2019) from mum’s (was not in good terms with her as mentioned above ). I started doing whatever I wanted, going clubbing, drinking and staying out late (I had finally gotten the freedom I never had growing up). But every time I went back home, I always felt empty and cried out to God to forgive me but later on I go back and do it. When my friends say let’s go out; I go and the results of that is I ended up having my first kiss with someone who already had a girl friend and a baby with that girl but I didn’t care at first. I started drinking even more and every time I got drunk, I ended up kissing somebody but when they try to go down, I don’t allow it ( I’m still a virgin btw). I believe on waiting till marriage but this one time I started telling my self that is it even worth it.
I know people who had sex but after they change their way, God forgives them and accept them again. I was like that’s the same thing imma do, but my heart kept on warning me at the same time. I kept on drinking and not going to church as much too; I started feeling lost and drifting away from God even more. This one time I started waking up in the middle of the night (2am) with dreams. I started having the urge to write them down every time I had one. I Also went back again on YouTube and I started seeing videos concerning marriages. That it’s TIME and that God has answered my prayers. Before I used to watch and it says wait and work on yourself but now it’s saying it’s happening. And another one saying God is about to do a miracle. I went back to God and cried out to Him to change me and that I don’t like the way I’ve become.
I then had an urge that tells me to go back to my mum. At first I refused when I thought about the relationship we had or the freedom I’m about to loose again, I just didn’t want too. But as time went by I kept on feeling to go back home. The urge became too much and my mum begging me to come back home too, I decided to go back. After 2 weeks. I got invited to go out, at first I didn’t wanna go but I ended up going. But as soon as I got in I noticed this one guy at the corner and he saw me too, (we were friends on Instagram though but we never talked to each other) I kept on going about my night, and because it was somewhere I didn’t know with people I didn’t Know as much except the one I had came with. I ended up drinking so that I can match up with their energy. Again I ended up kissing one guy and the guy I had seen in the corner (but he felt different) he kept on trying to hug me more instead of kissing. He made me feel safe around him, he didn’t pressure me or even mention me to go lay down with him like the other few guys I had met.
He later on went home but he didn’t tell me right away, he ended up telling me later on when I texted him and he said “I left because that place was too much for me” and when he said that I felt in my heart like what if he was your husband and that’s the first image you’ve left him to go home with (Of you being a party animal and a drinker and kiss whoever you see). I felt like I wanna go home too, even after a few of his homeboys And other guys were showing interest In me. Mind you, I had prayed to God last year that by the end of November Of (2020) to give me me a glimpse Of who my husband was. Before him (the man in the corner) I had met a few guys that I was interested in and every time I prayed to God about them He would show me something. They would end up having girlfriends or live far from me or even not believers, etc.
I then went back home and from that day I made up my mind to stop drinking completely. I started going back to church and our church decided to do a 21 Daniel fast. This is our last week of praying (21/12/2020). But during week 2 of prayers that’s when I stumbled on your 5 month wedding video. I became so interested then I went on your page that’s when I saw the praying for your husband video. After watching the first video I realized I’ve never prayed for my husband properly. I also had a journal but I didn’t know how to start writing about my husband, but after your first video, I was able to know what to do. After your second video that’s when I went looking for you on Facebook so that I can follow you and that’s how I stumbled on this page.
I really just wanna say first off, I’m really sorry that this is so long 😂 but I really wanted to express it all out. And THANK YOUUU for all you do, I’m only 23 but I’ve learned a lot from your videos. I’ve also realized I was rushing and not praying the proper prayers concerning what I wanted. And as for the guy from the corner, I randomly think about him especially even after the first praying husband video, even though I was praying for my future husband, I felt like the prayers are directed towards him and since I know him from Instagram as well I see the type of content he be posting. He used to post more about business stuff but now it’s all about God stuff or things that has to do with inspiring others, he’s also in this men’s prayer group. I’m still not sure if he is the one though but he is portraying the characters of someone that I have been praying for.
Long story short you’ve just gained yourself a new subscriber 😂 but also would like that you put me in your prayers, that I grow closer to God just like how you’re so fired up about our Father. And also my relationship wise, I’ve always longed for a physical godly relationship with someone. Again thank you so much for what you do, and the ALMIGHTY BLESS YOU ALONG WITH UR FAMILY ❤️