Dear Lady. Ann:
My son’s father and I have been off and on for a little while now. We were together 2-3 years. He would tell me he loves me. When we broke up I told him I didn’t believe him because he would always be chasing after other girls immediately. Honestly, I did believe him. We tried for the last time and didn’t fight or anything, he just ghosted me. I loved him so much and this Sunday he told me he wasn’t seeing anybody and he kissed me, hugged me and flirted in front of my son. I told him I still loved him and I wanted to try and he said okay. Then I made a post on Facebook about how sweet he had been to me. I told him about it and he said he was okay with it.
Then about a week later he humiliated me publicly because a girl he’d been seeing saw it and got mad at him for it. He told her we’ve never kissed, nothing happened and I was crazy. I sent her the screenshots of what he’d said before seeing me the day he kissed me. I know now that we’re not together and for my sake and my child’s sake I don’t need to be with him. But I can’t shake the feeling that God gave us a child together because we were meant to be together. Every time he came back to me he told me how much he loved me and he wanted to marry me and be with me. I just don’t know what to do now. I can’t sleep, I wake up with nightmares, and I feel sick to my stomach all day. I prayed constantly. I don’t know what to do though. I don’t understand why he did it. But my family is broken. No matter how much I hide it my son notices everything and I see how hurt he is too. He gets sad when he sees kids with both parents because he knows he’s missing that. I feel like it’s all my fault starting from the moment I got pregnant. His dad has no contact with him and hasn’t except for every other weekend or third weekend. I need advice on basically everything.