Dear Lady. Ann:
I have been dating a guy for 11 months. There have been struggles on my end because of my previous marriage. I have a hard time not ending the relationship every time I feel uncomfortable. This has happened twice. Backstory: I was in a relationship for 9 years with the father of my children and then in a relationship for 10 years with my husband. I was single for a year before meeting this guy. During the ten years of marriage, I was broken down to my core and God met me at the bottom. He promised me that I would never go through the things I went through again. He promised me for about 2 or 3 years before I ended my marriage. So I waited until I felt like God was telling me He’s sent my person to actually get involved with anyone.
He is a great guy and in most ways opposite of my exes. He is about 80 percent of what I prayed to God about and both times I ended it, God showed me that He was supposed to be in my life. I panic over things that seem small but remind me of the last relationship. So to me they are huge. I don’t communicate in relationships very well which is ultimately the problem. I am learning but I am also very independent and don’t like to bother people with what seems important to me but may cause others to think I am overreacting. The new guy has a lot of friends on social media, more than 2000. I know that there are many that he has been with and I got over that. But recently he added about 15 new girls to his page and it makes me super uncomfortable. He hasn’t done anything to make me not trust him so far but has said things that he says are jokes but I don’t take them that way. Our humor isn’t the same.
My head tells me to go. I don’t ever want to be with anyone who I have to “get over” things like this with. My heart tells me God is in control. I know He is. But I recently heard a sermon about God promising the lady she had found her husband that was from God and He cheated on her anyways. That scares me to my core. I don’t ever want to deal with anymore trauma in a relationship. I think that God knows that but I get confused about maybe He didn’t actually promise me anything. What do I do?