Dear Lady. Ann:
I would like to remain anonymous. I recently went through a divorce this past month that lasted almost a year in court. I was married twelve years and very much in love with my husband, but couldn’t handle his lifestyle and beliefs. He always worked out of town and I stayed behind taking care of our two children with special needs. I would track him down and knew what he was up to; nightclubs, strip clubs, subscribed to dating sites, pornography websites, etc. His family played a big part against our marriage since the beginning, starting with his mom calling off our wedding and we got married without his family knowing as he opted for that. I guess I don’t regret marrying him, but our marriage didn’t seem to have a good start even before starting.
Without going into a lot of detail, our last five years came down to this. He filed for divorce twice. The last time he came back I really tried to make it work, but he was living a double life. He didn’t see anything wrong with it and said very honestly that he would continue. He seemed to believe that because he was a good provider that entitled him to continue with his behavior. I didn’t believe so. I had gotten much closer to our Lord the last years and my faith and his did not match anymore. He was bothered by me praying all the time.
At church I met a man that caught my attention, how we had the same faith and beliefs. During all this divorce process, we had a “relationship” very stable and healthy. He wanted to get to know my children and my family.
But every time I inquired what we were, he said friends and hug and kiss me and ask me if I was happy.
The week I was officially divorced, my “boyfriend” said it was time for us to part ways. Again, without going into too much details, he was very rude and insensitive. He said he never wanted to have anything with me, if he would have wanted that he would have asked me..? I am left very confused and heart broken. I fell in love with him.
My now ex husband has reached out to me and asked for another opportunity, but I can not move on from this heartache.
I never thought I could fall out of love with my husband even though I would pray to my Lord to get him out of my heart if we were not meant to be together. Now, I am praying he gets this new love out of my heart and what would I have left? May God fill my heart so that it does not hurt anymore.