Dear Lady. Ann:
I met a guy on Facebook about 4 months ago. I was just coming out of an abusive relationship. My therapist and I agreed that I not get into a relationship just yet and I had no intentions of that whatsoever when I started talking to him. We’re from the same country but he moved to Europe after getting some girl pregnant and he’s been there 2 years and has no plans of moving back to my country. We clicked from “hello” and we developed a fondness for each other so fast that we had to agree to take breaks so that we didn’t let our feelings escalate so fast. He loves God, he is a man of faith and because I met him at a time when I needed healing the most, he was the spiritual support I needed. I could talk to him about anything and he helped me keep my faith in God. I have never met a man so keen on following Christ the way he is and that is what attracted me to him even more.
He is still living with his baby momma but according to him they came to the conclusion that they cannot get married because of their religious and cultural differences so they stay in different rooms but he’s planning on moving out. He told me he would rather be with someone from his own country and who he can connect to the way we have and for a while it felt like me and him were going to work out. He even told me he loved me at some point. But it sometimes felt as though he felt guilty for wanting to be with someone else and he would act for it today and not for it the next so it got really confusing for me. We don’t really know each other that well but I am really trying to get to know him and he sometimes won’t let me. It got to the point where I started feeling jealous and I got moody because I wanted things to work between us. All of this pushed him away even more, now we don’t talk and I don’t know what to do anymore. I still have feelings for him and I feel I would be in a godly relationship and even marriage with him but I feel like maybe I messed things up. What should I do? Or maybe I’m just so focused on wanting it to be him that I’m just messing things up?